 Why do we need friends, and how do we make them?
We need friends because we are made in the image of God. Our God, the Trinity, includes three entities. From eternity, before the existence of the world, these three entities are the best of friends. God also said it was not good for Adam to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Adam needed someone suitable for him to be his helper, whom he could share, trust, and love. It is also not good for us to be alone. So, we need friends. What are the main attributes of a friend? First, a friend lets us in his inner life, willing to share with us his secrets. We should learn from Christ. He lets us in by sharing with us everything He learned from His Father (John 15:15). Christ lets us in by being with us. He doesn’t lay out our whole life before us and leave. Instead, through the Holy Spirit, He dwells in us, accompanying and guiding us along the way. Learn to open up to others but do it slowly. Don’t force others to get into your inner life by opening up too quickly. Second, a friend doesn’t let us down. Christ never lets us down. There is no greater love than laying down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:3). That was what Christ did, and His sacrifice has given us life. Christ loves us not because we are good. We are far from it, but He still loves us. Christ treats us as His friend, yet we rebel against Him. We are not surprised if our enemies harm us, but it is difficult to endure insults from our close friends. Since Christ treats us as His friends, our rebellion hurts Him deeply. Learn from Christ regarding friendship. He lets us in by opening Himself to us and by being with us. Christ never lets us down. He even died for us. We should follow Him. Similarly, we need friends because we are made in God’s image. To build friendship, learn to let others in and not let them down. Summarized from a Tim Keller sermon: http://www.gospelinlife.com/free-sermon-resource https://gospelinlife.com/downloads/you-are-my-friends-5770/ 你是我的朋友 我们为什么需要朋友，又怎样交朋友呢？ 人都需要朋友，因为我们是按照上帝形象被造的。三位一体的上帝包括三个个体。在世界存在之前，自永恒以来，这三个个体就是最好的朋友。 上帝也说亚当独处不好（创世记 2:18）。亚当需要一个适合他的人来帮助他，一个他可以分享、信任和爱的人。 我们独处也不好，所以也需要朋友. 朋友的主要特点是什么呢？ 首先，朋友让我们进入他的内心。他愿意告诉我们他的秘密。 应该向基督学习。祂分享从天父那里学到的一切，让我们进入祂的内心（约翰福音 15:15）。 基督也通过与我们同在，让我们进入祂的内心。祂没有将我们的一生摆在我们面前然后离开。相反地，祂籍着圣灵住在我们里面，一路陪伴和引领。 要学会慢慢地敞开心扉。 不要太快强迫别人进入自己的内心。 其次，朋友不会让我们失望。基督从不让我们失望。没有比为朋友舍命更大的爱了 (约翰福音 15:3)。这就是基督所做的，祂的牺牲带给了我们生命。 基督爱我们不是因为我们良善。我们远非如此，但祂仍然爱我们。 神视我们为朋友，然而我们却悖逆他。如果被敌人伤害，我们并不会感到惊讶。但我们很难忍受亲密朋友的侮辱。基督把我们当作祂的朋友，我们的背叛深深地伤害了祂。 总而言之，向基督学习友谊。祂敞开心扉与我们一起，让我们进入祂的内心。基督也从不让我们失望，甚至为我们而死。我们应该跟随祂。 我们需要朋友，因为我们是按照上帝的形象被造。为了建立友谊，学习让人进入我们的内心，并且学习不要让人失望。
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 We are accountable for the lives we lead and the choices we make. But we’re quick to make excuses for our mistakes. This started since Adam and Eve, with Adam blaming Eve and Eve blaming the serpent. This tendency to shift blame still haunts us today.
On judgment day, we are accountable to God. We must give an account of ourselves to Him, including everything we have done and every empty word we have spoken. (Romans 14:12, Matthew 12:36). Our account to God also includes sins of omission—that is, the things we should have done and did not. God holds us accountable for what He has given us (Matthew 25:19, 29). Nothing is hidden from Him, with all our secrets judged (Hebrews 4:13, Romans 2:16). Let us start today to be honest, take responsibility of our mistakes, accept our faults, and stand up again. With God’s offer of forgiveness and grace, we can have a fresh start. One secret to successful physical training is to have partners holding us accountable. They can encourage each other and keep each other focused on their goals. Similarly, we should have an accountability partner to help train our character and train us to be godly (1 Timothy 4:7-9). A successful accountability relationship is difficult. It requires honesty and takes courage. We can make our commitment with our partners to follow Christ. Confess sins to each other. Be honest and open. This will help us heal (James 5:16). Ask our partner to remind us of our commitment, and the good thing we should be doing. This can help us do what we cannot by ourselves. Accountability can be a key factor in our progress towards godliness. It can push us toward love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24). Such an accountability partner is God’s gift for us, and since we will be accountable to God, let us start with our accountability partners today. Summarized from a sermon by John Ortberg: https://menlo.church/series/the-way#/modal/message/5591/mlo 承担责任 我们都需要对所过的生活和所做的选择负责。但是，人都喜欢为错误找借口。从亚当开始, 他就指责夏娃，然后夏娃就指责蛇。直到今天人类仍旧不能逃避这种转移责备的倾向。 每个人在审判之日都必须向上帝交代所做的每件事，所说的每句话 (罗马书14:12; 马太福音12:36)。就是那些应该做而没有做的事也不例外。我们对上帝赐给的一切也需要负责 (马太福音25:19，29)。在上帝面前没有隐藏, 一切秘密都要接受审判（希伯来书4：13； 罗马书2：16）。 从今天就开始做一个诚实的人，接受自己的错误，承担当负的责任, 再次站起来。上帝乐意施恩，满有宽恕和恩典, 在祂里面可以有新的开始。 身体锻炼成功的秘诀之一在于有伙伴彼此督责，互相鼓励，一心向锻炼的目标努力。 同样地，训练品格和培养虔诚的品质也应该有彼此督责的伙伴（提摩太前书4：7-9）。 建立成功的督责关系并非容易的事，它要求诚实和勇气。 督责伙伴互相作出承诺跟随基督，彼此认罪，敞开心扉，诚实以待，这可以帮助我们得医治 （雅各书5:16）。 请求督责伙伴提醒自己的承诺和应做的善事，辅助我们做到单独一人很难做到的事。 督责关系可以成为虔诚道路上进步的主要动力，激发爱心，勉励行善（希伯来书10:24）。 这样的督责伙伴是上帝的恩赐。我们迟早要对上帝交代，今天就从督责伙伴开始吧!  Spiritual friendships are discovered, made, and last forever. And they are necessary.
Paul’s life fell into chaos after he went to Jerusalem, but he was surrounded by spiritual friends everywhere he went (Acts 20:36-21:8). Needing friends is a sign of maturity and health. Before the fall in Genesis 3, everything was good, except for Adam being alone (Genesis 2:18). We are built to need others. This is not a result of sin, unlike our need for health, being free from guilt, and meaning in life. Friendship was a necessity even before the fall. Christ considered His disciples as friends (John 15:15). He regularly shared His inner thoughts with them. He wasn’t afraid to open up to them His distress. Some don’t want friends because of previous failed relationships. Growing older often leads to more responsibilities and less time for friends. But you still need them. Don’t wait till you become desperate before you look for them. Second, spiritual friendship is discovered. The essence of friendship is not about each other, but about something in common that has captured your hearts. Friends come among those with common interests, passions, or goals. Those going nowhere will have no fellow travelers. Robbers have a common goal of robbing. They go rob and are friends with other robbers. Spiritual friendship arises among those who share a common love for God. The strongest experience is the grace of Christ. Spiritual friendship arises naturally among those with such experience. Third, friendship is made through sharing each others’:
Lastly, friendship lasts forever. Creation was the results of our Triune God’s friendship. Our destiny is eternal friendship. The purpose of creation is about making us friends. Redemption is about remaking us as friends. According to Christianity, life is about friendship. Go get it. Our job is to summarize sermons. That’s what Tim Keller said. Summarized from a Tim Keller sermon: http://www.gospelinlife.com/free-sermon-resource Summarized from a Tim Keller sermon: https://gospelinlife.com/downloads/spiritual-friendship-6582/ 属灵友谊 正确的友谊是重要的，属灵友谊也不例外。 在人类堕落之前（创世纪第3章），除了亞當的独处, 一切都是美好的。上帝决定为亚当造一个合适的配偶帮助他（创世记2:18）。 上帝不是孤独的。三位一体的神创造了宇宙，祂从开始便是三位一体的, 直到在新天新地时也是如始。 对朋友的需要是健康的。基督将门徒视为自己的朋友（约翰福音15:15），经常向他们表达自己的内心，例如将痛苦与之分享。 友谊通常来自有共同兴趣、愛好或目标的人。他们彼此成为生命中的同行客。 属灵友谊也出现在对上帝有共同渴望和热爱的人中间。 保罗和他的属灵朋友就是例子。 他们分享自己的感受和信仰，一起祈祷、哭泣、拥抱和亲吻 （使徒行传20:36）。 他们分享自己的所有，开放自己的家接待保罗和他的朋友（使徒行传21：4）。 他们互相劝告。保罗的朋友们敦促他不要去耶路撒冷 （使徒行传21：4，12）。好朋友彼此磨练，使对方更刚强 （箴言27:17）。 他们分享自己的承诺。路加知道保罗在耶路撒冷和罗马会面临危险，却仍然与他同行 （使徒行传20、21、27和28）。 通常朋友会随着年龄的增长而减少，或许因为时间不足, 亦或是一些朋友令人失望。要意识到属灵友谊需要时间来建立。早期的基督徒献身于团契，每天见面，一起用饭 （使徒行传2:42, 46）。这些活动帮助信徒建立属灵友谊。 总而言之，属灵友谊是健康的。它通常存在于对基督有共同的渴望和热爱的人中间，需要时间和精力来培养建立。  How to raise children? Let’s learn from Ephesians 6:4: “Do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
This includes discipline or setting up firm rules, and also includes counseling, listening, and reasoning. Teach them who God is to you. Share your testimony and point them to the Lord. Pray with them and for them. As parents, we need to live lives consistent to our beliefs and strive to strike a balance between truth and love. If we have too much discipline, we forget that they are not robots. If we focus too much on loving and nurturing, we forget that they are not adults; sometimes they must obey without fully understanding. They need to be independent, and so we must learn to let go. Trust them and let them fail but do it progressively. Give them the support they need, and do not push them to be independent too quickly. The above is difficult to do without the guidance of God and the Gospel. For example, we may under-discipline, perhaps because we want their approval or are too eager for their love. But the Gospel frees us from such needs. Our approval is from God, and God loves us. We may over-discipline, perhaps because we base our identity in them or consider them a reflection of ourselves, and so we fear their failure. Again, the Gospel frees us from such need. Our identity is in God. Some of us may not want our children to be independent, perhaps because we want to be needed. We try to get from them what should be from God. Or some of us may push our children to be independent too quickly. This could be because we are selfish and only think of ourselves. We forget they are blessings from God. To conclude, we should raise our children through God and the Gospel. We must balance truth and love, dependence and independence, and point them to the Lord. Summarized from a Tim Keller’s sermon: http://www.gospelinlife.com/free-sermon-resource http://www.gospelinlife.com/father-s-day-message 父亲节留言 父母应该如何养育儿女呢？让我们从以弗所书6：4学习: “你们作父亲的，不要惹儿女的气，只要照着主的教训和警戒养育他们。” 这包括纪律或严格训导的设置，也包括辅导、倾听和推理。当教导儿女上帝对我们的意义，分享自己的见证，把儿女带到主的面前，与他们一起祷告，并且为他们代祷。 我们作为父母应当生活与信念一致, 在真理与慈爱之间取得平衡。如果有太多的纪律，就会忘记儿女不是机器人。如果过多的慈爱和培育，就会忘记他们不是成年人; 因此，不要让儿女产生错觉，以为必须先完全理解，然后才可服从父母。 儿女需要独立，父母必须学会放手。相信孩子们，让他们尝试失败，但这也需循序渐进地进行。给儿女所需要的支持，不要强迫他们太快地独立。 如果没有上帝的引领和福音真理的支持，做到以上几点是很困难的。 例如可能因为想得到儿女的认可，或过于渴望他们的爱，就对孩子的纪律不严。但是，福音使我们摆脱这种需要，因为认可来自上帝，上帝爱我们。 也可能有些父母把身份基于儿女，认为他们是自己的投影，他们不好就是自己不好。因为害怕他们失败，就会给予太多的纪律。福音再次让我们摆脱这种需要。我们的身份建立在上帝里面。 亦或有些父母有被需要的愿望，因此不希望孩子独立，错误地试图从儿女那里得到本应从天父那里得到的愿望。 再或者有些父母因为自私，只想着自己，会敦促孩子过快地独立，忘记儿女是上帝的赐福。 所以，父母应该在上帝里面，按照福音的真理来抚养儿女。平衡真理与爱，依赖与独立，把孩子带到主的面前。  Friends are important. But sometimes our busy culture forces us to prioritize other things, such as family and job. Yet real friendship is crucial and picking friends randomly will ruin us (Proverbs 18:24).
What are attributes of real friends? A real friend cares in good times and bad (Proverbs 17:17). Many want to be our friends if we are useful to them, but a real friend sticks by us even in adversity. A real friend gives us earnest advice, bringing joy to our heart (Proverbs 27:9). Real friends sharpen each other (Proverbs 27:17). A real friend does not flatter and is candor (Proverbs 27:5-6). Open rebuke is better than secret love (Proverbs 27:5). Though he tells us as it is, he also feels our pain. A real friend should be able to feel our sorrow and joy. A real friend always lets us in and never lets us down. That’s why a real friend is better than a sibling (Proverbs 17:17, 18:24). Because friendship takes time and effort, it’s unwise to try having too many friends. That’s fine because particularly in today’s world, a real friend is scarce anyway. So how do we find real friendship? First, we should focus on something else. Real friendship is built on a common foundation and interests. A person has no fellow travelers if he does not go anywhere. Second, we should be a real friend ourselves. This requires us to have the capacity to give. Christ exemplifies real, perfect friendship. He lets us in, by revealing Himself to us (John 14-17, 15:15). Also, irrespective of what we do, He cares for us to the point of sacrificing Himself for us. He does not let us down. With Christ as our real friend, we have no fear of being let down by others. This gives us the capacity to give. A real friend probably has to be discovered. Once we find a real friend, we have to strengthen it, as our highly mobile society is quick to move people apart. In conclusion, we must let Christ be the friend our hearts desire, and in turn we will build real friendship with others. When we focus on following Christ, we can be real friends, and that is how we will have real friends. Adapted from a Tim Keller sermon. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tc4VIQrXdE 友谊 朋友是重要的，但生活的繁忙迫使人们专注其它，例如家庭和工作。然而，真正的友谊很重要，随便挑选的朋友可毁了自己（箴言18:24）。 真正的朋友有哪些属性呢？ 无论日子好坏，真正的朋友都一样地关心我们（箴言17:17）。 许多人因为有利可图，希望成为我们的朋友。但是，真正的朋友即使在逆境之中也会与我们一起并肩作战。 真正的朋友会给出真诚的建议，使我们的内心充满喜悦（箴言27：9）。真正的朋友互相直言相谏，彼此磨炼（箴言27:17）。 真正的朋友不讲恭维之言，但说坦诚的话（箴言27：5-6）。公开的谴责总比暗地的爱恋好（箴言27：5）。虽然他实言相待，却同时也感受到我们的痛苦。真正的朋友可以与我们同悲伤共喜乐。 真正的朋友永远接纳我们，从不让我们失望。因此，真正的朋友比亲兄弟姐妹还好（箴言17:17; 18:24）。 建立友谊需要付出时间和努力，结交太多的朋友并非明智之举。朋友少不是问题，因为尤其在当今世界里, 真正朋友是很少的。 如何获得真正的友谊呢？ 首先，当专注其它事情。真正的友谊建立在共同的基础和爱好上。如果您什么地方都不去，怎能有人与你一起去旅行？ 其次，自己要成为他人真正的朋友，这需要有付出的心态和能力。 基督是真正而完全之友谊的楷模。祂接纳我们(约翰福音14-17；15:15)。 不仅如此，无论我们的所作所为，基督依然爱我们，甚至舍命十架。祂从不让我们失望. 有了基督做真正的朋友，就不必担心其他人的辜负。这使我们有能力付出而心无挂虑。 真正的朋友需要发掘。一旦找到他们，就应当坚固友谊，因为今天高度流动的社会里，人与人之间的亲密关系会被很快地拉开。 所以，让基督成为心中渴望的朋友。这有助于与他人建立真正的友谊。只有当我们专心跟随基督的时候，才能做他人真正的朋友，从而也就有真正的朋友了。  Today, we look into our relationships with our parents and our children. The Ten Commandments teach us to honor our parents—not love, not trust, not admire, not enjoy, and not obey, but honor them. Some parents are obnoxious and make it difficult to love or enjoy them. Some parents are not trustworthy. Some parents are not admirable. Some parents are not safe to obey. Also, one day, a child should leave the parents’ authority and be united with his or her spouse (Genesis 2:24). But we are still called to honor our parents, no matter how flawed they are. This is a choice and is not sentimental. We are commanded to treat our parents with dignity, courtesy, and respect. We should try to follow the custom because what is considered respectful differs by culture. To honor them, sometimes we need to forgive them, particularly when they are really bad or manipulative. To honor is different than seeking their approval. Many yearn for their parents’ approval, but we must remember that our parents can’t be our God. We mustn’t let our need to please them dominate us, lest their approval become an idol. Remember that we have God’s unconditional acceptance. We don’t have to prove that we are good. That knowledge can empower us to freely honor our parents. As to our children, Ephesians 6:4 teaches us to bring them up in the training and instruction of God—again not love, trust, admire, enjoy, or obey. Training involves discipline, and instruction involves teaching and counseling. In traditional families, fathers have absolute authority. After the industrial revolution, many parents now leave home to earn a living, and they delegate others to bring up their children. But parents should not have absolute authority and should not delegate. Parents need to bring their children up. This is a kind of servant leadership. The bringing up is in the discipline and teaching of God. To conclude, we don’t need to get our approval or acceptance from our parents or our children. Our approval and acceptance are from God. This will free us to honor our parents and to bring up our children in God’s training and instruction. Summarized from a Tim Keller sermon: http://www.gospelinlife.com/free-sermon-resource http://www.gospelinlife.com/parents-and-children 父母与儿女
让我们来研究父母和儿女的关系。 十诫教导人孝敬父母，不是爱，不是信任，不是佩服，不是欣赏，不是听从，而是孝敬。 有些父母令人讨厌，很难爱或欣赏他们；有些父母不值得信赖；有些父母不值得钦佩；有些父母也不应听服。此外，有一天孩子应当离开父母的权威，与配偶连合（创世记2：24）。 但是，无论父母有多么的缺陷都应该得到儿女的孝敬。这是选择而不是情绪化的决定。应该以尊严，礼貌和尊重的态度对待父母。尊重的涵义因文化而异，亦应尝试随从当地的习俗而行。 有时需要用原谅的方式孝敬父母，特别是当他们确实糟糕透顶或玩弄摆布子女的时候。 孝敬不等于寻求接受。很多人渴望得到父母的认可。请记住父母不能成为上帝。取悦他们不应成为一种辖制。不要让父母的认可成为偶像。 记住有了上帝无条件的接纳，就不必证明自己的良善。这样的知识使我们可以自由地孝顺父母。 以弗所书6：4教导当在上帝的训练和指导下抚养儿女。 同样地，不是爱，信任，欣赏，享受或服从。而是在上帝的训练(意味着纪律) 和指导(包含教导和辅导) 下抚养。 父亲在传统家庭中拥有绝对的权威。自工业革命后，许多父母外出工作谋生，委托他人抚养儿女。然而，父母不应具有绝对的权威，也不应委托他人去尽自己的本分。 父母需养育自己的孩子。这是一种仆人似的领导。孩子的成长应在上帝的训练和教导中。 总而言之，不需要得到父母或孩子的认可或接受。认可和接受应該来自天父。因此，我们可以自由地孝顺父母，也可以在神的训练和教导下抚养儿女成人。 |