 How to raise children? Let’s learn from Ephesians 6:4: “Do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
This includes discipline or setting up firm rules, and also includes counseling, listening, and reasoning. Teach them who God is to you. Share your testimony and point them to the Lord. Pray with them and for them. As parents, we need to live lives consistent to our beliefs and strive to strike a balance between truth and love. If we have too much discipline, we forget that they are not robots. If we focus too much on loving and nurturing, we forget that they are not adults; sometimes they must obey without fully understanding. They need to be independent, and so we must learn to let go. Trust them and let them fail but do it progressively. Give them the support they need, and do not push them to be independent too quickly. The above is difficult to do without the guidance of God and the Gospel. For example, we may under-discipline, perhaps because we want their approval or are too eager for their love. But the Gospel frees us from such needs. Our approval is from God, and God loves us. We may over-discipline, perhaps because we base our identity in them or consider them a reflection of ourselves, and so we fear their failure. Again, the Gospel frees us from such need. Our identity is in God. Some of us may not want our children to be independent, perhaps because we want to be needed. We try to get from them what should be from God. Or some of us may push our children to be independent too quickly. This could be because we are selfish and only think of ourselves. We forget they are blessings from God. To conclude, we should raise our children through God and the Gospel. We must balance truth and love, dependence and independence, and point them to the Lord. Summarized from a Tim Keller’s sermon: http://www.gospelinlife.com/free-sermon-resource http://www.gospelinlife.com/father-s-day-message 父亲节留言 父母应该如何养育儿女呢？让我们从以弗所书6：4学习: “你们作父亲的，不要惹儿女的气，只要照着主的教训和警戒养育他们。” 这包括纪律或严格训导的设置，也包括辅导、倾听和推理。当教导儿女上帝对我们的意义，分享自己的见证，把儿女带到主的面前，与他们一起祷告，并且为他们代祷。 我们作为父母应当生活与信念一致, 在真理与慈爱之间取得平衡。如果有太多的纪律，就会忘记儿女不是机器人。如果过多的慈爱和培育，就会忘记他们不是成年人; 因此，不要让儿女产生错觉，以为必须先完全理解，然后才可服从父母。 儿女需要独立，父母必须学会放手。相信孩子们，让他们尝试失败，但这也需循序渐进地进行。给儿女所需要的支持，不要强迫他们太快地独立。 如果没有上帝的引领和福音真理的支持，做到以上几点是很困难的。 例如可能因为想得到儿女的认可，或过于渴望他们的爱，就对孩子的纪律不严。但是，福音使我们摆脱这种需要，因为认可来自上帝，上帝爱我们。 也可能有些父母把身份基于儿女，认为他们是自己的投影，他们不好就是自己不好。因为害怕他们失败，就会给予太多的纪律。福音再次让我们摆脱这种需要。我们的身份建立在上帝里面。 亦或有些父母有被需要的愿望，因此不希望孩子独立，错误地试图从儿女那里得到本应从天父那里得到的愿望。 再或者有些父母因为自私，只想着自己，会敦促孩子过快地独立，忘记儿女是上帝的赐福。 所以，父母应该在上帝里面，按照福音的真理来抚养儿女。平衡真理与爱，依赖与独立，把孩子带到主的面前。
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