Friendship

Friends are important. But sometimes our busy culture forces us to prioritize other things, such as family and job. Yet real friendship is crucial and picking friends randomly will ruin us (Proverbs 18:24).
 
What are attributes of real friends?
 
A real friend cares in good times and bad (Proverbs 17:17). Many want to be our friends if we are useful to them, but a real friend sticks by us even in adversity.
 
A real friend gives us earnest advice, bringing joy to our heart (Proverbs 27:9). Real friends sharpen each other (Proverbs 27:17).
 
A real friend does not flatter and is candor (Proverbs 27:5-6). Open rebuke is better than secret love (Proverbs 27:5). Though he tells us as it is, he also feels our pain. A real friend should be able to feel our sorrow and joy.
 
A real friend always lets us in and never lets us down. That’s why a real friend is better than a sibling (Proverbs 17:17, 18:24).
 
Because friendship takes time and effort, it’s unwise to try having too many friends. That’s fine because particularly in today’s world, a real friend is scarce anyway.
 
So how do we find real friendship?
 
First, we should focus on something else. Real friendship is built on a common foundation and interests. A person has no fellow travelers if he does not go anywhere.
 
Second, we should be a real friend ourselves. This requires us to have the capacity to give.
 
Christ exemplifies real, perfect friendship. He lets us in, by revealing Himself to us (John 14-17, 15:15). Also, irrespective of what we do, He cares for us to the point of sacrificing Himself for us. He does not let us down.
 
With Christ as our real friend, we have no fear of being let down by others. This gives us the capacity to give.
 
A real friend probably has to be discovered. Once we find a real friend, we have to strengthen it, as our highly mobile society is quick to move people apart.
 
In conclusion, we must let Christ be the friend our hearts desire, and in turn we will build real friendship with others. When we focus on following Christ, we can be real friends, and that is how we will have real friends.

Adapted from a Tim Keller sermon.
​https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tc4VIQrXdE
 


友谊
 
朋友是重要的，但生活的繁忙迫使人们专注其它，例如家庭和工作。然而，真正的友谊很重要，随便挑选的朋友可毁了自己（箴言18:24）。
 
真正的朋友有哪些属性呢？
 
无论日子好坏，真正的朋友都一样地关心我们（箴言17:17）。 许多人因为有利可图，希望成为我们的朋友。但是，真正的朋友即使在逆境之中也会与我们一起并肩作战。
 
真正的朋友会给出真诚的建议，使我们的内心充满喜悦（箴言27：9）。真正的朋友互相直言相谏，彼此磨炼（箴言27:17）。
 
真正的朋友不讲恭维之言，但说坦诚的话（箴言27：5-6）。公开的谴责总比暗地的爱恋好（箴言27：5）。虽然他实言相待，却同时也感受到我们的痛苦。真正的朋友可以与我们同悲伤共喜乐。
 
真正的朋友永远接纳我们，从不让我们失望。因此，真正的朋友比亲兄弟姐妹还好（箴言17:17; 18:24）。
 
建立友谊需要付出时间和努力，结交太多的朋友并非明智之举。朋友少不是问题，因为尤其在当今世界里, 真正朋友是很少的。
 
如何获得真正的友谊呢？
 
首先，当专注其它事情。真正的友谊建立在共同的基础和爱好上。如果您什么地方都不去，怎能有人与你一起去旅行？
 
其次，自己要成为他人真正的朋友，这需要有付出的心态和能力。
 
基督是真正而完全之友谊的楷模。祂接纳我们(约翰福音14-17；15:15)。 不仅如此，无论我们的所作所为，基督依然爱我们，甚至舍命十架。祂从不让我们失望.
 
有了基督做真正的朋友，就不必担心其他人的辜负。这使我们有能力付出而心无挂虑。
 
真正的朋友需要发掘。一旦找到他们，就应当坚固友谊，因为今天高度流动的社会里，人与人之间的亲密关系会被很快地拉开。
 
所以，让基督成为心中渴望的朋友。这有助于与他人建立真正的友谊。只有当我们专心跟随基督的时候，才能做他人真正的朋友，从而也就有真正的朋友了。