Parents and Children

​Today, we look into our relationships with our parents and our children.
 
The Ten Commandments teach us to honor our parents—not love, not trust, not admire, not enjoy, and not obey, but honor them.
 
Some parents are obnoxious and make it difficult to love or enjoy them. Some parents are not trustworthy. Some parents are not admirable. Some parents are not safe to obey. Also, one day, a child should leave the parents’ authority and be united with his or her spouse (Genesis 2:24).
 
But we are still called to honor our parents, no matter how flawed they are. This is a choice and is not sentimental. We are commanded to treat our parents with dignity, courtesy, and respect. We should try to follow the custom because what is considered respectful differs by culture.
 
To honor them, sometimes we need to forgive them, particularly when they are really bad or manipulative.
 
To honor is different than seeking their approval. Many yearn for their parents’ approval, but we must remember that our parents can’t be our God. We mustn’t let our need to please them dominate us, lest their approval become an idol.
 
Remember that we have God’s unconditional acceptance. We don’t have to prove that we are good. That knowledge can empower us to freely honor our parents.
 
As to our children, Ephesians 6:4 teaches us to bring them up in the training and instruction of God—again not love, trust, admire, enjoy, or obey. Training involves discipline, and instruction involves teaching and counseling. 
 
In traditional families, fathers have absolute authority. After the industrial revolution, many parents now leave home to earn a living, and they delegate others to bring up their children. But parents should not have absolute authority and should not delegate.
 
Parents need to bring their children up. This is a kind of servant leadership. The bringing up is in the discipline and teaching of God.
 
To conclude, we don’t need to get our approval or acceptance from our parents or our children. Our approval and acceptance are from God. This will free us to honor our parents and to bring up our children in God’s training and instruction.

Summarized from a Tim Keller sermon:
http://www.gospelinlife.com/free-sermon-resource
http://www.gospelinlife.com/parents-and-children


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父母与儿女
 
让我们来研究父母和儿女的关系。
 
十诫教导人孝敬父母，不是爱，不是信任，不是佩服，不是欣赏，不是听从，而是孝敬。
 
有些父母令人讨厌，很难爱或欣赏他们；有些父母不值得信赖；有些父母不值得钦佩；有些父母也不应听服。此外，有一天孩子应当离开父母的权威，与配偶连合（创世记2：24）。
 
但是，无论父母有多么的缺陷都应该得到儿女的孝敬。这是选择而不是情绪化的决定。应该以尊严，礼貌和尊重的态度对待父母。尊重的涵义因文化而异，亦应尝试随从当地的习俗而行。
 
有时需要用原谅的方式孝敬父母，特别是当他们确实糟糕透顶或玩弄摆布子女的时候。
 
孝敬不等于寻求接受。很多人渴望得到父母的认可。请记住父母不能成为上帝。取悦他们不应成为一种辖制。不要让父母的认可成为偶像。
 
记住有了上帝无条件的接纳，就不必证明自己的良善。这样的知识使我们可以自由地孝顺父母。
 
以弗所书6：4教导当在上帝的训练和指导下抚养儿女。 同样地，不是爱，信任，欣赏，享受或服从。而是在上帝的训练(意味着纪律) 和指导(包含教导和辅导) 下抚养。
 
父亲在传统家庭中拥有绝对的权威。自工业革命后，许多父母外出工作谋生，委托他人抚养儿女。然而，父母不应具有绝对的权威，也不应委托他人去尽自己的本分。
 
父母需养育自己的孩子。这是一种仆人似的领导。孩子的成长应在上帝的训练和教导中。
 
总而言之，不需要得到父母或孩子的认可或接受。认可和接受应該来自天父。因此，我们可以自由地孝顺父母，也可以在神的训练和教导下抚养儿女成人。