Marriage’s Foundation, Definition and Priority
One of the foundations of marriage is a servant heart, with the spouses submitting to each other. A servant heart helps the spouses to hear criticism without being demoralized, to give suggestions humbly, and to forgive without residual anger.
How do we have a servant heart? We need to know we were nothing. We are children of God entirely because of Christ, not because of our performances, accomplishments, or love. Christ sacrificed dearly for us, which includes our spouses. So, learn to put your spouse first, at least because of honoring Christ (Ephesians 5:21).
Marriage is a permanent commitment. Emotions fluctuate, but commitment helps get us through difficult times. Also, our heart is where we invest our time, effort, and emotion. Action, emotion, and commitment feed on each other.
Spousal relationships should be above all other human relationships. It is where a man leaves his parents and unites to his wife (Ephesians 5:32-33, Genesis 2:24). Most other societies emphasize children and parents more, but in Christianity, our spouse takes the lead.
Our children shouldn’t be the center of the family. We should love them but not let our relationship with them eclipse our relationship with our spouse.
Our parents shouldn’t be the center. If a man is closer to his parents than his spouse, he hasn’t left them.
Marriage should be where we share all parts of our life. If we tell everything we heard from our spouse to another person, our spouse probably will not open up.
Also, try to know your spouse deeply. We are different with different ways of living, such as the family pattern we grew up with. If the wife’s father shows love by changing diapers, but the husband’s mother shows love by never letting her spouse change diapers, then just changing diapers may cause conflict. We need to really understand our spouse, including the spouse’s upbringing. On certain things, we may need a change in perspective.
In conclusion, husbands and wives should serve each other. Marriage is where spouses commit to each other and prioritize the marital relationship over others. Also, spouses should try to know each other well. Hopefully, our spouse is our closest partner, one who understands, accepts, appreciates, and works with us.
总而言之, 丈妻应彼此服侍。 婚姻是夫妻彼此的承诺地，夫妻关系优先于其它关系。 另外夫妻应尽量彼此了解。希望配偶是最亲密的伙伴，一位彼此了解、接受、欣赏并合作的伴侣。