We desire and need respect. A good name is more desirable than great wealth (Proverbs 22:1).
One way to earn respect is from handling conflicts appropriately. Let us learn from Nehemiah 5.
First, it lists four causes of conflicts:
Nehemiah chapter 5 lists five ways Nehemiah gained respect by resolving these conflicts:
Though Nehemiah was the governor, out of respect for God, he did not (a) eat or demand the food allotted to the governor; (b) place heavy burdens on the people he was governing; (c) allow his assistants to lord over the people; nor (d) take any land (Nehemiah 5:14-18). Instead, he was generous to the needy, putting the needs of others above his own. Every day, he provided food for 150 people because of their heavy burden (Nehemiah 5:17, Proverbs 29:23, Psalm 112:9).
Furthermore, Nehemiah set good examples. He and his men were devoted to building the wall (Nehemiah 5:16, Proverbs 14:22).
After we are dead, how will people remember us? Consider that and act accordingly (Proverbs 10:7).
To conclude, if you want to earn others’ respect, empathize, think before speaking, appeal to the good sides of others, be humble and generous particularly to those in needs, and set good examples.
Summarized from a sermon by Rick Warren:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMpNGqau09Y starting from 17 minutes
我们渴望并需求尊重。良好的声誉甚至胜过巨富 (箴言 22:1)。
虽然尼希米是省长, 但出于对上帝的尊重，他没有 (一) 吃或要求分配给省长的食物； (二) 给他统治的人民带来沉重的负担；(三) 让他的助手欺压人民 和(四) 获得任何土地 (尼希米记 5:14-18)。 相反地, 尼希米对有需要的人十分慷慨, 将他人的需要置于自己之上。为了减少人民的重担, 尼希米每天提供一百五十人的食物 (尼希米记 5:17, 箴言 29:23, 诗篇 112:9)。
此外，尼希米树立了良好榜样。他和他的手下埋头建造围墙 (尼希米记 5:16, 箴言 14:22)。
我们死后，人们会如何记起我们？ 考虑到这一点然后采取相应的行动 (箴言 10:7)。
总而言之，如果想赢得别人的尊重，要感同身受; 先思考、再说话; 提出他人好的一面; 应谦虚和慷慨，尤其是对那些有需要的人; 并树立良好的榜样。